I have been feeling a bit off for at-least a week now and it all came to a head tonight in a manic episode, the first I have had since moving to my new place. Fortunately it was not as mad as when I was living at my last place but it was still pretty jarring after around a six month grace period. It has to be stress triggered or at-least worsened, it seems to depend on the input at the time when things have been going well I will just have a surge of creativity; paint an entire piece over night or write a perfect poem. So I don't notice it I just think I'm enthusiastic, but when things are bad I get paranoid and irrational.
I have only had trouble with it in recent years with all the stress and drama going on has negatively effected my state of mind, it is really useful when things are good, even with the downs I used to channel it into painting and turned the negative to a use.
As a result of this resurgence in the 'bad trip' I am going to take steps to cut out all the unnecessary drama, I am going to be made to feel like a bitch for some of the things I'm going to drop but they has long stopped being fun and become an obligation and I'm sorry but my mental stability is more important than some hurt feelings.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have been having incredible trouble sleeping recently probably due to the above. I chose "Music of the night" as a title as I have had "The Phantom of the Opera" stuck in my head and it seemed appropriate what with the insomnia.
I think "Phantom" is this years obsession, a few years ago it was the crow, but its time for a new vein of inspiration I think.

I am taking part in the 24 hour show (learn over night and performed the next over 24 hours) with the Uni Musical Soc. this weekend so that should be interesting, tbh I really should get some sleep as I need to be awake tomorrow for a meeting then the show rehearsal.

So as most of us on DA (I'd imagine) consider any job that uses our artistic and/or creative abilities i.e painting, jewelry making, as their dream job. So naturally when I saw the position on the Games workshop page for a trainee model painter with 'Eavy Metal I knew I had to go for it. I have spent an intense week and a half working on pieces to submit with my application. Now realistically I realize that my ability level is probably not high enough to be considered, but nothing ventured nothing gained, I sent off my application.

I expect to hear nothing more about it... but then why is there a flock of butterfly's suddenly in my stomach?
If I got it it would be a dream job, it would also mean i could stop going to the job center every other week and I could stop worrying about money... but I don't think I have a snowballs chance in hell of being considered, I am still too new and I am nowhere near the level of Golden Daemon... But at the back of my mind there is the treacherous hope that I may be good enough to become a trainee.

CSS made by `TwiggyTeeluck

Before I get on to my main blog I first have to say a huge "OMG Thank you!" to when I dropped in to update my blog and post Infest pics this morning I discovered a 3 month Premium membership on my account [Edit] Apparently I was one of the winning entrys on the DA11th Birthday caption contest... completely forgot I entered that [End: Edit]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So the reason I have been a little inactive recently is that over the last few weeks have been gearing up for two festivals;

. Firstly a less well known festival WadFest a collection of Discworld fans annual meeting to play silly buggers in a field for three days.

. The weekend just gone was INFEST the festival of EBM, Cybergoth, Darkwave and Industrial music, it uses the student communal and events space of the University of Bradford, which is convenient for me as I don't need to find a hotel being local to Bradford.

INFEST is a big deal for allot of people it is the one big gathering in the UK for the Alt/Cyber/Goth/Industrial community that people travel from allover to attend religiously, there are always fantastic outfits and crazy antics, brilliant bands and an all-round feeling of good will and freedom to be yourself free from insults of ignorant "normal" people.

This year was doubly Amazing as this year saw the return of VNV Nation to the line up, the last time they were was about four years ago (around the time of the Sophie Lancaster court case : [link], I have seen the perform on the huge stage a Sheffield Corporation but the Uni stage is considerably smaller in comparison but as usual Ronan's stage presence made the size of the venue irrelevant- like water filling the available space, He just has this way of bridging the gap between the audience and the stage making their gigs feel personal while unifying a room of "People dressed in black, with nails in their faces, singing about never ending light and smiling like they got all the smarties" (-My fave Ronan quote ever; it refers to a priest happening upon their gig). It is a mark of a truly brilliant gig if all you remember is the performance and the crowd joining in as one, all the little crowd (or idiot therein) niggles melt from memory.

VNV Nation are touring to promote their new album in October so I am hoping to see them again soon
For stage presence the only other contender, to my mind, are The Crüxshadows but their styles of performance are wildly different enough to leave them level pegging, I couldn't choose between them if I tried (I hope I never have to).

In other news: another couple of reasons my deviations have dropped off a bit again are;

. I have picked up the hobby of model painting from my housemates and am currently working my way through 2 1/2 boxes of assorted Warhammer 40k

. Me and have long been discussing the possibility of doing a collaboration a bit larger than we have currently been producing. To be specific we have been batting around the idea of producing a graphic novel/web comic, but until recently we couldn't pick a subject that both of us knew well enough to write for and draw. Then inspiration struck our collective muses outdid themselves, if we get this off the ground we easily have 10 years of plot at the bare minimum, we have spent evenings brainstorming and reassuring, but its going to take time as work unfortunately takes president over creative venture, all I'm saying is: Watch this space, but not too hard.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am considering opening up for commission pieces...

So:-

. What kinda thing would you want?
. What would be a reasonable asking price?
. Money or subscription?